After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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