Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
