this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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