Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
