ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
