go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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