Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
