She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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