Whod you bang
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
