i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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