why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
