You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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