Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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