WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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