I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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