I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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