Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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