Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
