DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
