You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
