just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
