So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize