Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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