This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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