the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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