he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
