i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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