He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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