That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
