You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How's work?
Spinning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
