Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
