No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she looked like the before picture.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
