guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
