Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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