he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
