absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you would pick up someone in the library
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
