just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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