thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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