He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
