I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
