well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i think my cat just said my name.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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