i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
