I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
