when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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