I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
