I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
