i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
