: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
