If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
