Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to have your abortion
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
