You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
