I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
