I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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