I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
