dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
