i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
