eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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